It is not easy to convey an important message that needs taking notice of and people follow this through. I know this because of speaking with adults of young children and in the moment people listen, and then they forget - the reason why I address serious issues is because they are REAL issues of concern.
A few times I have caught a 3 year old playing in the road. Children have no road sense. The five to 8 year olds play on the road too. Even living in a semi rural area, nowhere is safe for children, especially if they wander off. Not every child alerts their parents where they are going to. Not every parent checks their child is OK. A mobile phone is not the solution. Communication with mutual trust is needed for a child tp confide in parent.
Not being a parent, I am one of the people who people probaby wish I did not poke my nose in. One child climbing a young tree - the branch was bending over. I could see a potential accident -Where was mum? She thought her child was playing in the back garden. Then a few weeks ago the children came to my door and wanted to come in - I told them as long as their parents knew they could. Not being in the best of health, they were drawing pictures, just wanting positive feedback for their efforts and this was probably all I was capable of - being tired out.
Half an hour later I asked the 11 year old what time she had to go home. It was about 5.45pm. Shortly after this her mother came around and was worried sick. The ONE PARENT AROUND HERE who asks for assurance where her daughter is and she was so relieved she was safe. With friends living close by, gardens and green space, children take this for granted. Children say they are going out but rarely say WHERE! Children often say they are somewhere and yet they are somewhere else. This is not new - many adults will recall their younger years. Children cause distress and frustration to parents. Not all children are rebellious. Children are oblivious to danger until they face it.
Even if children do not listen to parents, they will listen to other adults. However, it is up parents to build a relationship of trust between parent and child. This involves remembering inside the child, is a little adult, who sometimes is wiser than their years, very observant, sensitive and even takes things personally. A child often worries about mum if she is unhappy or cryig. They also feel helpless too when their parents are fighting or crying. If parents allowed their child to express their truth - they might be very surprised and shocked too.
A few years ago a lady told me that a 'dirty old man' used to watch her and her friends playing. Apparently he got a job in the school cleaning. Perverts will find a way to get close to children - even if just to watch them. The problem is society is frozen into silence about pedophilia when women especially have a powerful voice. The more our voices get louder and show zero tolerance for this perversion - the abusers run and hide. They are not just the lower parts of society - pedophiles thrive on intimidation and overpowering children. They are in the high echelons of society too and only now, adults are starting to speak about their experiences. It takes courge to speak out. Expose the abusers. And any law court that slaps a gag order shout louder. The Court of God has given you permission!
Thousands of children go missing and never heard of again. Just because the media do not report it, does not mean the danger has gone away. Around the Iraq invasion in 2003, Tony Blair put a media blackout on Satanic Ritual Abuse. This is REALLY GOING ON! Children are being molested, raped and killed every day. The Daily Mail reported 160,000 hits DAILY to child porn websites! whether a little girl or a little boy, ALL children are vulnerable to anyone who is a pedophile.
Most of our elderly and many adults today, were told as children - not to accept sweets/candy from a stranger, do not go off with a stranger, do not get into a car with a stranger - they knew the score and the dangers. There are people who think we who are protective of children are over reacting, the people would not be able to handle the truth of what is going on. There are babies in foster care who have been sexually abused and children being raped by babysitters.
The harsh reality is difficult to face. A man with no home is a drifter. He could be anyone and there are many opportunists and predators around around who look for a woman with young children. There are males who move into a ready made home 'to be another child'. I have known women who think they have met Mr Goodlooking and while their back is turned, their children are being abused or cruelly treated. Not everyone can see even if it is happening in front of their eyes.
When a child has been emotionally abanded by a parent, to then another adult come on the scene and take the attention away from them - they feel the sense of abadonment, they feel the double rejection. There are children who do not like their parents new partner because they sense or know by experience that somethng is not right. Children are being ignored. There are many adults putting their children in danger because they refuse to listen to their children's voice!
Just looking at the Daily Mail now, there is an article that reports of a FOUR YEAR OLD, wondering the streets at 4.30am in Cleethorpes, Lincolnshire. The little girl was dressed in her pyjamas and holding her teddy bear.
Paul Collier 58 who found the little girl alerted the police. Thee little girl told him she was looking for a drink because her mother was asleep.
He said 'I couldn’t believe it, where were her parents and how did she get out of the house?'
'It was ridiculous, it could have been anyone who picked her up. This little girl was so trusting I think she would have got in anyone’s car.....I was in absolute shock more than anything else - it just felt like a dream.'
A Humberside Police spokesman confirmed that the child was, after a short time, returned to her home address and mother’s safety. Also officers are now working with social services to establish the circumstances of the incident.'
Mr Collier added: 'My wife was livid when I told her. She couldn’t believe a child so young would be able to get out and walk the streets alone.
'I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day afterwards, all the ‘what-ifs’. Imagine if I hadn’t stopped and then I heard a child had gone missing.'
Mr Collier said he could not have forgiven himself if he had ignored the child.
'There were a lot of cars on the road that didn’t stop,' he said.
'She was such a chatty, jolly, little girl which made me think she might not have been taught not to talk to strangers. That’s what scared me the most.
'I am just glad it was me who stopped and no one else.'
A council spokesperson confirmed: 'We are aware of an incident concerning a small child and can report an investigation into the matter is underway.'
Sometimes it takes a stranger to save a child's life. It just happened Paul Collier is a very conscientious man and yet what if he was not? The child could have wondered on the road and got run over. She could have been picked up by someone else and never seen again and then the report would be VERY different!
This week a 15 year old went missing with her teacher to France. The family were frantic and obviously devastated. We have a moral duty to look out for the children and vulnerable adults in the world. It is far better to check out if a child is Ok and to make sure they get home safely, than turn a blind eye.
Credit to the police who work to protect the people. While I am very frustrated at their shortcomings, the strengths are admirable. I know the police deal with very difficult situations and the most horrific circumstances.
The police come out if they are called. A few weeks ago a young child with learning difficulties wondered out and after two hours of disappearing, a major search with officers on foot, cars and helecopters were out looking for the child and knocking on doors. Children have no idea of the worry they cause.
It is better to check on a child, even if they are looking sad or upset. Sometimes parents are preoccupied to give children undivided attention. If we consider that we are extended family, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO CARE, if this is your natural inclination. Choldren are blind to the dangers of wondering near a road. Parents might not be attentive to their children because they are busy, If a child is lost, crying, looking withdrawn, cowering or hiding away, looking troubled, for certain I am unable to pretend that that nothing is wrong and not my concern.
Over the years I have been Aunty Pauline to many children. One of my girls I saw last week after 10 years and she has grown into a fine young woman. This was a child who bottled up all her thoughts and frustrations - she was given the space to talk openly and hear her own process. At the time her mother had not got the patience to listen - now they have a really good mother daughter relationship.
Millions of teenagers and adults today are hooked on drink and drugs because they have used this as a way to numb out the pain of their experiences. Emotional abandonment, when a parent neglects a child or rejects their child when they need them the most. Millions of adults have gone down a self destructive path because they were molested or abused in some other way as a child.We cannot turn the clock back but we can start to care and bring smiles to faces again.
Support children in their growth, healing and development by being part of their support network, even if they never call on you for help. Let children know that you are there for them - adults too. It is though trials and tribulations in life, bonds are formed and a deeper appreciation of caring and purpose is known.
If we want to live in a safe world - we must create it.
Peace, love and best wishes
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