Eighteen year old Adil Rashid had sex with a girl of 13 he got to know on facebook. This is another rape claim and we cannot ignore what is happening in society.
This case has come to the attention of the media for a reason. The full article is posted below. Today I am going to examine the situation in relation to the bigger picture and how this impacts society; with how home and society impacts individuals.
This is being raised because of sexual decadence in the UK. Recently I met a women who told me she has been raped 5 times - none of them were muslims. The first two times she was a teenager. Many millions of women live with these experiences. Many millions of girls have been sexually violated and even raped as children. So it is important this topic comes out in the open, however, not to point a finger at one man.
As a few weeks ago 5 year old April, went missing in Wales, many thousands of children go missing every year. This is also to alert people to protect their children.
The girl cannot be named for legal reasons. However, the two people involved had got to know each other over time. They had been exchanging messages on Facebook, sending texts and progressed to chatting on the phone over a two-month period. When they met in Nottingham, Rachid had booked a 'family room' at a Premier Inn (hotel)
The girl told police they stayed at the hotel for two hours and had sex after Rashid went to the bathroom and emerged wearing a condom.
Adil Rashid was said to have 'had little experience of women' due to his Islamic education at school in UK. The school that is unnamed is a close community that is perpetuated in his home life. Experience in the wider world appears to be limited.
After his arrest, he told a psychologist that he did not know having sex with a 13-year-old was against the law. The court heard he found it was illegal only when he was informed by a family member.
In other interviews with psychologists, Rashid claimed he had been taught in his school that ‘women are no more worthy than a lollipop that has been dropped on the ground’. The attitudes about women are in urgent need of being addressed.
When Judge Stokes said Rashid ‘must have known it was illegal, unless he was going round with his eyes shut’, defence lawyer Laban Leake said reports suggested Rashid had a ‘degree of sexual naivety’.
Rachid said he was reluctant to have sex but that he was 'tempted by [the girl]' after they met online. He claims the girl seduced him - not the other way round.
When Rashid returned home he reportedly went straight to a mosque to pray. He was arrested the following week after the girl confessed what had happened to a school friend, who informed one of her teachers.
Rashid reportedly told police he knew the girl was 13 but said he was initially reluctant to have sex before relenting after being seduced.
The detail in the case is to be examined more closely.
To invest in a hotel room and emerge out of the bathroom wearing a condom, it is quite clear the intention to meet up from the start was decided before the encounter.
For a male with testosterone runing wild in many 18 year olds, living in a country where mulsim girls are expected to preserve their virginity until marriage, the 'temptation' by any girl who is not with these conditions is not easy to ignore.
However, being from a culture where if he takes his religion seriously and respects virgin, it would be compromising to his inner being to violate a girl sexually.
There are men of all ages having sex with underage girls who are not muslims so this is an important issue to discuss relating to everyone - to learn from.
For the young man to travel a distance, to stay in a hotel, after communicating with this girl for a while, indicates that he might have developed some feelings for her and vice versa - this could have been a mutally planned relationship experience.
The age issue of the 13 year old girl is not being ignored. What burns in my mind is the mother of the child being aware of her daughter's whereabouts. I have known teenagers lie to say they are staying at a friends to go out. A child's safety and healing is paramount in the relationship with the mother, or a mother figure,
It is also important not to ignore Rashid's naivity and conditioning influences. Even if not intended, planting negative seeds in boys minds to see women to be used and thrown away, is perverting their mind, instead of promoting love, fidelity and respect.
England has been keen to protect children and especially girls. Where there is a problem in society, it is addressed. The root cause of the problem must be healed.
A 13 year old who is alone with a boy anywhere, at a time when her hormones are changing, might respond to male attention, kindness and charm. A young man in the presence of a young girl who is at this age, would be aware of attraction. It is for this reason, teenagers of the opposite sex have separate bedrooms to remove temptation.
Rashid was said to be influenced by a learning environment were women were already used and disgarded - my interpretation on what was given. Not all boys and men look at girls as dirt. There are boys and men who are scared to love and feel intense feelings. To afford a hotel room, the boy had made an investment. Was rape his real intention?
There is a mentality of male who seek out a pure girl to break her virginity. From the picture presented, two naive people gravitated towards each other. We are unable to read people's minds so remember there are two sides to a story. Two people who had an experience and the two people will pay the price for their experience.
Psychology is one of the subjects studied in the legal profession.
In a society where casual sex is the social norm, millions of children are involved in underage sex and pedophilia is rife too - this is a problem in the society of Britain that is just coming out in the open. Many 13 year olds want to be grown up with a boyfriend. Innocence in children is not promoted to be protected it used to be.
The reality is 95% rapists walk free. The same do not get to court. Today gang rapists walk free in court with the help of lawyers who get them off, The reality is gang rape is really happening 'by English males who are not muslims'. The reality is something needs to happen to protect future generations of society. My concerns about gang rape in UK was addressed in 2004 to Tony Blair in writing. He has silenced Satanic Ritual Abuse.
Society has slipped down so low now and when people speak out from concern - this is often rejected. Actress Joanna Lumley has shown concern about young women getting legless and the consquences of this is they can be rape. People are even being killed.
We are obliged to warn and protect people - the naive and vulnerable.
The Court Judge has to examine the case presented carefully and make the right decison and that carries huge responsibility. A judges decision is going to impact people's lives in whatever way. If the loser has to pay the legal bill and a case is flawed with (perjury) and lawyers misrepresentaton (lies), this is like rape in itself.
If a Judge locks away anyone 'for rape' who was developing a relationship, this would be deeply damaging to the point where unresolved issues do not heal. A man might live his life punishing women and himself for these experiences.
For a man to be attracted to a child, this indicated some psychological flaw. However for an immature 18 year old, with an equally immature 13 year old, who might even appear to be older and tempting psychogially the age gaps close.
The Judge in this case would have recognised there was communication taking place before, sufficient enough to meet up in a different town to be together. However, the law is to protect children and sex with children underage is a major concern.
In England, girls are not punished by the court for being raped or put in the compromising situations. Instead they have to live with their experiences for the rest of their lives. In some countries, women and young girls being stoned to death, just for being seen talking with a member of the opposite sex, even if nothing is going on.
Considering the above, Rashid was not just a stranger. Two young people had an enduring friendship and spoke on the telephone. Then the 13 year old girl willingly met up with the boy. Examination of their communiccations would provide more insight, especially from the girls part. My sharing is to show that it can be realy easy to judge and also make the wrong decison. When a law cour judge makes the wrong decision, he can cause devastation to an innocent persons life and this is the issue to be prevented now..
The preparedness of carrying a condom, provides the clue that Rashid was hoping or expecting a sexual encounter could happen with the girl. Living oversesas, I have heard men speak about women from a certain culture and they say wear two condomon's just in case. There has been an attack on women for a very long time. There is a song created for a certain mindset to rape women to steal their power - this is what we are facing today.
Some cultures forbid marriage outside their own community. A young man, if living with such conditons, will already be facing pressures and temptation to be curious because he is living in England, a totally differnet setting than all Islamic..
This situation is an example being shown to to remind all mothers of teenagers who DO NOT know where their children are - your children are not safe!
In some cultures, there are children being married and having children at 13 years old. In England, I knew a girl who was pregnant with her second child at 14. Having traveled all over the United Kingdom photographing children and families, even back in the 1980's. 13-15 year old children having children was a concern back then.
The court is not the problem in this - Parents have the responsibility to guide and protect the children. A child is for life. As a women I relied on the security of my mother's love at 26 when she died. She was my closest trusted friend, who know of my paid. When parents are not there to look after their children and watch over them, they can be allured in a world that is not safe, if they seek comfort elsewhere. Emotionally secure children are less likely to create emotional instability or violate any other child or adult.
Recalling a conversation with a teenger, concerned for her safety. Her mother worked during the day and evenings leaving her alone with her sister. She had boys who were 'mates' at 13 years old. Is 'Mates' a condom brand? Condoms are not to promote sexual promiscuity, but to ensure people stay safe - STD's are rife today. The girl sought a relationship with someone who was also emotionally abandoned by his parents. This is what happens.
Another girl at 14 aware that she could manipulate males and get what she wanted - she would have them take her shopping and for days out, because she did not have a father figure. He died. This began when her mother found a boyfriend. She would blackmail him for money. This was behaviour was learned from her oan mother. Who is to blame?
For the 13 year old going to a hotel with any male - was she enticed there or did she go willingly to meet someone for love? Did she have romantic feelings for this boy on the internet that she agreed to meet him in a Hotel? Did she encourage him to travel to her so they can be together? Where did she tell her parents where she was going?
Teenagers put theirselves in positons where they can have experiences they do not want and even regret later. Adults also are repeating these same patterns.
This is a far more complex situation. There are also contradictions.
The boy said he was reluctant to have sex and yet he was obviously prepared. The scene was set, the hotel was booked and the condom was in his possession.
Fact - The girl was underage and having a sexual encounter with a man. This cannot be ignored. The girl might benefit from counselling after her experience, especially the court experience because a court judge has made a decision impacting lives. This experience can be used as a platform to think about the consequences of decisions.
The boy has to live with his experience and international exposure in the media. If this was to be a secret liason, it is certainly no longer the case. He has the opportunity to rethink his values and to realise, it is not OK to have sex with underage girls. A lesson is also been presented to all young men, it is not OK to rape girls or women either.
There are people who have married who met as children. There are couples who have also had sexual encounters long before the legal age limit. The internet is also a platform where countless people are being violated, exploited, and abused every day.
A few years ago a man contacted me to say he 'urgently' wanted to meet to discuss a business propositon. He persisted and said he was going away for 3 weeks. The business idea he ran by me was my own. Moments meeting me he tried to kiss me. I was extremely weak and fragile because of a medical condition. He could have raped me and what is 100% certain I would have never got justice in the law courts. I know I am not safe here.
A 13 year old child is protected because she is a minor. Every child is at risk today in society, specially in UK and for this reason I decided not to have children.
For men and women, young and old, consider how society has degenerated where people were having sex in the back streets in 1970's, Today gang rape is a progressive concern and there are pockets of society who are living life socialising with orgies. These are happening in the higher echelons of society. These perversions cannot be dismissed.
Is this situation a case of two young people, living in a world that is with so many conflicts and contradtictions, maybe they found something in eachother, to be attracted to each other. The age difference does not always want to listen to reason. A male who takes a girl sexually is violating her and the damage cannot be put right. Millions of women have been raped at least once in their life - somehow they have to pull theirselves back together and get on with their life. Countless young boys have been raped too.
Was this boy a predator and opportunist? If he knew that his actions would have resulted in a court hearing and bringing a real concern to everyones attention, perhaps he would have thought twice. What support is the girl getting after this experience?
The answers are within the minds and hearts of those concerned and invoved.
The incident happened as a result of a chain of communictions between two people. It was not just a cold encounter with a total stranger, even if these two got to know eachother over the internet. Could the situation have been prevented? Delayed maybe.
Millions of young teenagers are very sexually aware and seeking comfort because they are hurting. Millions of young children are unhappy at home, have been emotionally abandoned or neglected by parents. Millions of children are living in broken homes and without a father influence who is a stable influene in their lives. Without the emotional stablity and security provided by parents, people seek this elsewhere.
The healing need in society is vast and complex. There is a calling for young people to talk about their experiences and when I did my counselling training, I saw a need in the schools to provide a counselling service for children - this happened.
If the English courts were to prosecute rape with violence involved, they would not be able to handle the volume of cases every day. When a girl, young women or mature women says 'No' she is to be listened to because a man who violates a girl even with sweet words, is still contributing to the process. When a man says 'no', he means this too.
It must not be ignored that teenagers have feelings. Two immature and inexperienced people have both had an expereince where they will never forget this.
It is not normal for men to have casual sex and be like dirty dogs. For a male to see a women as dirt who has sex with a girl, what does this say about him? He was the one who has soiled her. She was clean enough before he violated her/tried to!
To make a Judgement to incarcerate anyone carries accountability 'on the Judges Head'. He is not God, no lawyer or Judge is above God. If I was the judge, I would not force a prison sentance on this particular situation. However, I would insist that both parties go and seek counselling. Furthermroe I would be setting the judgement on the teaching establsihment to review what influence they are putting out; to make necessary changes.
'Judge Stokes sentenced Rashid to nine months youth custody, suspended for two years, along with a two-year probation supervision order.
Describing Rashid, the judge said: ‘He’s had an unusual education, certainly in terms of the sexual education provided. Comparing women to lollipops is a very curious way of teaching young men about sex.’
But he said that Rashid knew what he was doing was wrong.
‘It was made clear to you at the school you attended that having sexual relations with a woman before marriage was contrary to the precepts of Islam,’ he said.
Addressing Rashid, the judge said: ‘I accept this was a case where the girl was quite willing to have sexual activity with you. But the law is there to protect young girls, even though they are perfectly happy to engage in sexual activity.’
Thirteen is the turning point from a girl starting her puberty and it would be in all girls best interset to start a 'say no and mean it' campaign. The voices of girls and grown women have been silenced for a very long time. The voices that are meant to be heard are people who are being sounded out. Children have a powerful voice and are in a positon to shape the future by setting the standards you want to live in safe world.
Schools and Law Courts both carry a role of responsibility. School teachers are the primary outside influence to children. Their influencing is calling to protect children, empower children to make the right choices, enable the development moral and social conscience and social responsiblity. This curriculum is paramount now.
Law Courts have a responsibility to take into consideration all the evidence and find a remedy - also to suggest solutions to addrress underlying issues. Far more productive will be to prescibe a course of very intensive tharapy than send someone to jail that is going to cost the tax payer £50,000 plus to accomodate the criminal.
Parents have a duty of responsibility to their children. When a child seeks comfort, to talk, is concerned, worried, hurting, frightened - listen them.
For myself personally, 13 years I am fighting legal corruption! The only way to end deliberate Obstruction of Justice, to make a Claim to the Crown of the Highest Court. The Divine Court.
Peace, love and best wishes
Pauline Maria
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2268395/Adil-Rashid-Paedophile-claimed-Muslim-upbringing-meant-didnt-know-illegal-sex-girl-13.html#ixzz2J96bYchb