Director of Public Prosecutions Alison Saunders said: ‘Controlling or
coercive behaviour can limit victims’ basic human rights, such as their
freedom of movement and their independence.
‘This behaviour can
be incredibly harmful in an abusive relationship where one person holds
more power than the other, even if on the face of it this behaviour
might seem playful, innocuous or loving.
‘Victims can be
frightened of the repercussions of not abiding by someone else’s rules.
Often they fear that violence will be used against them, or suffer from
extreme psychological and emotional abuse.'
Those who say 'they
never did anything' because often witnesses of people who suspect or
are told psychological abuse is taking place, there will often be flat
denial in confronting or even shifting the blame on someone else. But
when contronted with serious evidence, the abuser will twist and accuse
of abuse...or any other tactic to silence the truth.
Perpetrators of abuse are no longer going to get away with this. There
is a fine line with one off or anger, and intentional reactions because
someone is not responsible for appropriately processing their feelings.
If a male child watches his mother beaten by his father, when a child -
he might copy this as an adult too. Even unintentionally. Intense
therapy with real want to be healed becomes necessary to identify and
heal root causes. Probably the system has all that sorted too.
While the media has promoted the war on terror overseas, there will have
been many millions of women terrorised in their own homes by men who
try convince they love them..
And there are many men who respect women and would never even think to say or do anything to hurt any woman.
Psychological, mental and emotional abuse is still abuse. Physical violence gives bruises. Psychological scars last longer.
Stay safe and never be silent if you are scared.
Never be silenced if you are abused or threatened with abuse - call someone. Call the emergency line of the police.. Do not take the law in your own hands.
Never EVER feel guilty to report someone who threatens or injures you. The lady who called me learned of her friend being murdered a few years ago. She was the last person who was called...then the man called her.
Too intense to discuss in therapy...
Fortunately I trained as a therapist...helping unpaid.
Now if only the police protected me...
They did not protect me from legal corruption either.
But hey...they cannot consider the consequences.
There are many incidences of concern - with financial exploitation and physical violence. A great number of women in spousal relationships even married to lawyers and police, suffer in silence. Those soldiers reliving the trauma of war, might inappropriately express their 'depression'. This is just a tip of one iceberg with people being financially exploited who are most vulnerable too.
Both men and women are being seriously physically abused. Many men tread on eggshells at home and are expressing fear of their spouses too.
Not all cases are domestic abuse, But unhealthy relationships are detectable. When there is not two way communication without feeling intimidated and inhibited - silences and sudden outbursts, throwing things...
No one should fear the police. The Police are supposed to be protecting people, not the royal family, THE PEOPLE...not the system, THE PEOPLE!
Many vulnerable people keep silent out of fear!
Many women stay with men who terrorise them.
Many people enter relationships for all the wrong reasons...few consider further down the line, a few years, or few life crises and pressures of life..
There is a dangerous mindset who are sadistically cruel and get their pleasure of hurting people - hurting behind closed doors, taunting, intimidating, threatening and even giving the silent treatment. Withdrawing finances, restricting and also controlling friendships, controlling leisure even television and social contacts, social outings, spying, invasion privacy, (carer male walking in bathroom when on toilet or in the shower, aggressive outbursts, with niceness apologising - even dramatically begging on knees for forgiveness, these are signs that indicate something might not be right..Being over the top friendly and charming, while putting the spouse, partner down or saying someone is just a friend, when they beleive there is more to their relationship,.......perhaps they are used.
The police know a hell of a lot more that is going on.
As I was given the IMPERIAL TYPEWRITER and LEATHER BRIEFCASE of a former Chief Superintendent of the Police - addressing these concerns verbally and even in writing is not something that I shy back from.
There was a time the police did nothing...
Now there are AGENCIES who have an obligation to monitor and listen to the most vulnerable people...and I KNOW information is on record too.
If you suspect anyone is vulnerable and being exploited and especially being intimidated - a tactic to silence people, show you care and encourage THEM to speak without judgement. Appropriately empower them to get help. Anyone disabled, elderly and even deaf can speak alone to their doctor to get it on record. They might belong to an organisation that offers support.
A great many people are too scared to call the police..However, if you know of physical danger taking place, and hear this happening do not turn a deaf ear..if there is a commotion - call the police immediately. You might even save a life.
Perpetrators of abuse try pull the wool over the eyes of the police - but with every telephone call is logged, names and details are taken.
Someone who gets away with beating a woman once, will more than likely do it again if not to the same person, someone else. Remember this!
If a drunk man will threaten to attack a woman who he does not have any relationship with or know personally, he is acting out something and one day might attack another women he does not know. Please remember this.
Many undisclosed murders take place every day in UK. Terrorists are often not foreigners from a different land and religion. Most are close to home!
If you fear consequences to report abuse, what danger do you put yourself in by staying silent and doing nothing at all? And if someone has some anger issues - with threatening, overstepping actual boundaries, bursting into homes to attack anyone - especially a fail, weak or elderly person, something is amiss.
OVER REACTIONS should NEVER BE IGNORED!
If you are threatened with abuse, report it especially on your property. The one who threatens has no where to run and hide, if a neighbour and the police are called. Even if he disappears for a few hours. The sign of being frightened of the police can be 'changing' but if that same person threatened or attacked someone else and landed in court by pressing charges, he would have to face what he has done. This should never be a vendetta. The courts should not be operating for profit but for addressing serious crimes like this for correction.
Someone who went too far with me one time - I called 999, a few years later asking his wife to get her husband to address another neighbour, regarding damage to shared property, she said 'he hates confrontation with anyone'. Now he appears to be a changed man...I hope so...I really do.
The Global Healing need is multi-layered in Our World.
Addressing the root cause of the healing need...few can do! It takes courage to look back and take responsibility for making mistakes...
To repent sincerely is with lifelong change...
Sorry is a word far to easy to say.....
Many crocodile tears are shed without any remorse!
Stay safe...always stay safe.
Remember over reactive people have unresolved issues too. Those who calculate to use abuse and exploit, are often dependable on vulnerable 'victims's who as long as they remain gullible, the monster can continue his wicked way.
There will come a time when there is zero tolerance from police who are abusing too...something the police were too scared to address.
With all abuse, there has to be evidence.
If a child is being molested..the courts relying just one heresay and accusations, with even witness testimonies and expert witnesses, these can be falsified.
With perjury and fraud in the court being a norm for decades here in England the loser pays the legal bill. There is no regard for whose life is destroyed. The court did not care about my life or ability to thrive! They are obliged to correct their crimes yet refused. Know the law that protects you always.
Without evidence there is no case that can be heard.
Years ago I worked with people often noticing bruises and asked about that. Visible bruises on face with cuts and grazes are most often than not from walking into a door..Multitudes of woman are living miserably.
One woman I met was cheery and I asked was there reason for her celebration. She replied 'Yes my husband is dead' , She said he gave her years of misery and he was also tight fisted with money too..He left a house paid for and plenty of money in the bank.' She was happy to be free from all that.
There are women wishing their abuser would die. With provocation and with living in fear, there are surely people who have tried to protect themselves - but this complex matter does not ignore the cause of death.
Years ago I was invited to work for an insurance company. One day a man wanted to take out an insurance policy for over a £million on his wife. Asking how much he earns, a small amount, I responded intuitively, 'Gosh, it seems she is worth more to you dead than alive' - the policy was not completed.
Foreseeing a huge potential problem of spousal murders with insurance claims. This is written openly as it is probably happening. The government were not interested to communicate years ago and be advised ethically about this and other concerns for to discuss precautions and the well being of people.
The English Court chose to silence this Counsellor.
It will be totally irresponsible to arrest and prosecute people with allegations of domestic abuse without evidence..There was a time when if a domestic abuser pierced the skin could the police forcibly remove someone from a home (that was not even theirs) as I was told. The law has changed now.
In other words someone might be stabbed and even killed before the police would remove the person..by that time it could be too late!
- Change is to the Serious Crime Bill and is called a 'landmark movement'
- Now people can be prosecuted even if there is no physical harm done
- Bad behaviour can include controlling a person's social media accounts
- Five million women and 2.5 million men will suffer abuse in their lives
There
is a prevailing sickness in society. Yet also there is much danger with the
women who have survived abuse, to become protectors; might become abusive too. And there are men who intentionally set out to protect women too....there are men who actually express disgust and hatred for abusive men. The last thing we want is a movement of vendetta and vengeance...
In all truth is: what is written in our heart and intention. 
Peace be with you
Pauline Maria
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