Two people need to trust and not force a union with anyone. We need to be healed from the past before we can move on. We need to accept we are all learning lessons - if we did not understand the lesson we will never know.
Sometimes we think we have met the right one, and the experience is to teach us something about ourselves or to meet a healing need. Through close friendships and love relationships, we learn so much about each other and love challenges us to grow. Real love is not about the physical union between two people. With an emotional and spiritual union between two people, love bonds.
In an ideal world, everyone will be focussed on healing and seeking real love in their life - not by trying out different people and moving onto the next best fit, even someone who appears to offer something different, or to try and see if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence it is not.
Men have the golden opportunity to shape up and deal with their issues if there are apparent healing needs that need to be resolved. Women also can do the same. If we are to learn to trust the higher power again and realise HE is in control of everything, He also knows exactly what is in our heart and soul.
Even our parents do not know the best for us. They might know what is not right for us. Today there are many couples who get together in practical compatibility by the suggestion of other people and yet, the timing might be out. When there is pressure for women to marry and have children this is not easy. Today because women have been through this, they want to wait a little while, study and to know who they are as a person - this will serve well in motherhood and in marriage.
If we want to live our life to be to our full potential and with spiritual fulfilment, we must look to our heavenly Father to be our guide. If we want to be with our soulmate, we must have this focus - a soulmate relationship is a spiritual bond two people share that is beyond physical reality. Not everyone is willing to get to know each other - to REALLY get to know eachother, enjoy each others company and experience the connection to build emotional bonds. This takes time. Emotional bonds unite people - not treat the other person as a possession. Love is energy - emotion is energy we feel and expression. A relationship is an ongoing journey not a destination.
The commitment two people make between each other in the Holy Sacred Wedding in the Orthodox faith is in trusting that God has brought two souls together and will take care and watch over the souls in their marriage and family life. Not wanting to create any illusions, not all marriages are perfect and many people do lose this focus and yet, when people have married for all the right reasons, they can come back again if both people are willing to reaffirm their commitment to eachother.
For a loving relationship to work, we need to bend and trust to allow growth. We need to forgive and not take too much personally. We need to learn to be kind, thoughtful, caring and considerate...and we need to learn the dance of love.
More to the point, if two people are not best friends, when you can talk about anything and everything, enjoy eachother's company, take an interest in each others growth and life, let go of control and go with the flow there is less internal conflict and even less emotional turmoil. An emotional roller coaster ride might allow poeple to feel highs and lows, with reactions that reflect what is happening however, this is not necessarily healthy. Marriage between our heart and soul is spiritual unity within.
Years ago I was out shopping and an elderly couple caught my eye, they were holding hands, talking and looking occasionally while walking along. The gentleman leaned to kiss his lady and I was so deeply touched by this they must of heard me say awww and we got talking. The man told me the secret to his happy marriage is making his wife feel special every day and he lived to make her happy. He said when my wife is happy, she makes me happy too. Wise words from experience.
Many years ago, In the company of Peter Cushing - the actor. We were drinking tea together in his lounge, surrounded by books, paintings and minature toy sets, he spoke of his love of his best friend, His wife. Such a refined and perfect gentleman. He offered one of his paintings as a gift and they were so nice but I did not want to take from him, even though I would have treasured this. When leaving he insisted of putting on my long coat and said 'the last time he had the pleasure was with Helen, who died some years before. We walked to the car and he opened the door as I stepped in. He waited til I drove in the distance before stepping inside. Peter's love for his soulmate was as real as when she was alive. He had a smile in his heart again that day. Peter was an inspiration never to settle for second best if I want a lifetime loving marriage.
Thinking about the elderly who have lived 50 and 60 year of marriages together, through the good times and bad. Often with great struggle, sacrifies - people have stuck it out The midwife for me and her husband were always bickering and yet they could not live without eachother. Everything he did was to please his wife and she did find him irritating sometimes - vocal about it too. He did all the cooking and every meal was made with love. This relationship was one that was filled with challenge and difficulties and yet was meant to be for a for a greater purpose too.
It takes courage to make a relationship work and make that commitment for all the right reasons too. A marriage ceremony is not a business contract. It is a spiritual agreement that is joining the hearts of two people with God and documenting that might be signing papers. What is written in our heart is where the marriage contract is really made and the dance under the stars in heaven.
One time in a department store, a lady tapped me on the arm and asked me which I preferred. She was holding two beautiful negligee sets that looked like they were for a wedding. We got chatting. She was in her 70's and was meeting her long lost childhood sweetheart for a romantic weekend. When they were young he went one road in life and she went the other. They both married. After becoming widowed, both found each other again and said 'the feelings were still there' She said this man was her soulmate and knew she should have married him. Not exchanging names just love and happiness for this couple, there is no doubt this was a couple brought together 'because it was meant to be'.
There inspirations for love everywhere. True love does not always run smoothly but the feeling is always there. Perfect relationships do not come pre-made, with all the right ingrediants both sides, the physical and spiritual union can form. None of this juming in or out of relationships, waiting or going to look elsehwere The people who meet THE ONE, KNOW they are with THE ONE!
Both men and women must want REAL LOVE and to trust their heart to love too. Being together for all the right reasons is the spiritual key. If we are to put our life to trust God and know that everything is taken care of, we will be guided in the right way and if we are meant to be with someone it will happen - because soul mate relationships actually have a soul purpose too.
The hidden hand of God opens doors and even takes us down avenues we do not want to go ot although there is a reason for everything. Nothing is coincidence. Those Mr. and Ms. Not Rights and Not Quite Right, were necessary to know. The amount of effort some people go to trap someone, only to realise the fairytale is not quite as it sees. Then there are people divine intevention brings together.
Two couples I have known of. One socialised in the same circles for 5 years and totallly blind to each other. One day their eyes were opened and that was it, the wedding was booked. They shared no feeling, relationship or connection together and yet both were wanting to settle down with the right one.
The second couple married in their 60's. Both had married before and had actually got chatting on a friendship website. They lived closeby and got on really well 'as if they knew eachother forever. There lives had run paralel for something like 40 yeears and they were not meant to 'see each other' then. Another special gentleman who beleives in marriage and doing right by his family. The children left home; so they are on a honeymoon for life now.
We all know someone with a lifetime marriage, even if we have not discussed this. Speak to people and be inspired by their love.
We are here to grow and evolve spiritually. Living with love in a soul mate relationship and even soulmate friendships, we are learning so many lessons. We are all living our spiritual purpose - everything is orchestrated by God and now I know this. Living with love is not easy if you are hurting, however allowing your heart to heal, allows love to flow again. Love is life.
Peace, love and best wishes
Pauline Maria
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