From a spiritual perspective, the cruel blows in life can happen to bring us to use our senses and understanding in a far more productive way. Instead of working with small groups of people and individuals, instead I was lead to discover the internet and reaching millions more people. The internet is bringing people together in so many different ways. Like minded people will find each other. In the same way people who are meant to connect with each other and 'meeting' on the internet too.
It takes courage to speak out when you are hurting. It takes courage to communicate your deepest reality and take the risk of being heard. It takes courage to face your fears. They say sticks and stones will break our bones and names will never hurt - but they do. When anyone tells lies about people this can reap havoc too. We do not know what the future holds but within everyone who has been bullied, is also a seed of hope and it is getting past the feeling of being helpless to realise that if anything you have gained understanding from experience that is valuable learning.
Millions of children have lost their way because they are not feeling emotionally secure and have no one to talk to. All the children who have gone down the wrong path in life, perhaps this happened because they were hurting at the time. Self harm is common today. Children are developing eating disorders and seeking other ways to cope with their pain. Looking at the cause of the pain, we realise that every child has a valid story to tell. Cruel words can hurt deeply - the scars might never go away.
Life can deal cruel blows and this often also create psychological crisis. However in such a crisis there is a light too. As long as we listen to our true self, we can identify our healing need. We are forced to grow when we experience hurt, pain and challenges.
The mixed messages children send out might be masking something else. Children can be seemingly resiliant while trying to be strong, when inside they are carrying a weight on their shoulders and struggle to cope. When a child says there is nothing wrong 'there might be'. When a child hits out in angry reactions 'something has triggered their reaction'. When a child cries and seeks attention, why are adults complaining about this? When adults cannot be there emotionally for their children, children have had to find their own way to cope when they are struggling.
Children who need love from their parents and do not get it, might seek this elsewhere. What they get might not be real love but the affection even short term becomes a fix to anchor onto because of the emotional need. While there are people who are quick to judge children who are off the rails, is the child really to blame? Both boys and girls suffer with depression. Every child knows what is the truth in their heart and how they are really feeling. Every child is encouraged to communicate their hurt in a healthy way instead of holding onto this inside.
When every child needs love and to know they are loved is this such a huge crime? The cruelty human beings do to eachother is to remind children they are not loved, not wanted and not lovable. This is soul destroying and often cruel words are said out of thoughlessness and even jealousy. The crime is in our failing not to recognise when a child is in a state of desperation, calling out for help, support, to be there and recognise when they need a listening ear. We need to learn to care and not turn a blind eye to any child who is evidently hurting inside.
When children are cruel, they might be acting out their own process, or something they have witnessed at home. Not everyone realises how cruel words and spite can be devastating to their target. Not everyone realises that cruel words and lies can leave a lasting impression - and even adults are guilty of lying because they have not learned to be honest with their own self. Not everyone realises that everyone is carrying a burden - especially children, many who actually feel alone in the world.
Every child wants to be loved and accepted. Every child is worthy of friendship and of making a friend. Today many children have found a way to communicate their experience and this has started a wave of non verbal communication, sharing their secrets, anxieties, fears, hurt, pain, suffering and just putting out there what is really going on in their life and in their heart. Just this action alone is releasing the internal burden. The consequences of this is people are listening and learning about silent suffering. This has resulted in a tremendous amount of support returning and LOVE from people who can also relate to this experience.
It is perfectly natural for children to want to communicate and yet if the communication lines are down, a child can feel isolated and alone. Often parents say they are too busy or impatient to listen to their child. Some children have a grandmother or another relative they can confide in who listens and understands. Somewhere there will be someone else, a teacher or counsellor or friend.
The answer to children who are classed as 'difficult' is to get to understand what is causing difficulty. There many abusers and bullies in this world need to face the reality of their actions. Anyone who is preventing a child or adult who is hurting is actually feeding the problem. Everyone is entitled to communicate their truth and also to their healing need.
Say 'NO' to silent suffering. Say 'NO' to being palmed off with a psychiatric label and drugs. Say 'YES' to healing and being empowered. You are a human being not a label! Wanting to be loved and have someone to care about you is your entitlement.
Not everyone has the inner recourses to assist their healing. Not everyone is motivated to help theirselves because they do not think they worthy. Although it is not unsual for people who are hurting to reach out and be there for other people. When I started the eating disorder recovery resourse providing all the self help tools and strategy, it was a very short time before members were communicating eachother and forming strong bonds to encourage each others healing. In this situation two way support and encouragement is given. And so when hurting people are communicating together and listen to their own process, the wounded helper becomes the wounded healer. There are countless children who do not want to upset their parents or burden them with their problems. The roles of children taking care of parents is something that I have known since a child and yet my mother was paralysed from the neck downwards from a car accident. Not every parent is aware that their child is suffering and they feel they must carry this struggle alone.
Psychiatric labels hae been given to people who are suffering with emotional pain. Prescription drugs do not eliminate this hurt. Adults must learn to listen to children before it is too late!
There are different ways to communicate without even talking face to face. To see people sharing openly on the internet by writing out their experiences, is not only serving therapeutically and bringing an end to the silent suffering, this is inspirational for other people too. Writing is a powerful way for everyone to acknowlege their own process. Take baby steps to healing and self esteem building might take time. That is normal. One day at a time.
A child is born with bringing love and yet something happens when children are emotionally abandoned and even neglected. Not every child has someone to turn to - someone they can trust. Not every child gets to speak to a counsellor even though now many schools have counsellors based and someone to talk to. There are so many very special children in this world who have become wise for their years because of their experience. In sharing their emotional turmoil, pain, social and emotional isolation, children are touching the hearts of other children and adults - some who can also relate to the same experiences.
There is a global healing need that is being brought to the surface now and we all are part of assisting this process. The internet is bringing people together and also being a tool used to empower children and adults in a very healthy way. The children are the leaders and teachers of tomorrow. All the misguided adults must learn from the error of their ways. The healing need is great now! Silence is not an option whether bullying is taking place between children, or by adults who excuse their abusive ways.
Not everyone can cope with the pain they feel when they are bullied. A beautiful young girl was in so much pain. Her sister wrote 'She was bullied because She was so nice and helpful and i guess they didn't like that.' - there is a sick mentality who have a real deep resentment of anyone who is a caring nature and nice person. It is not the person who is accused who is sick - it is time to address the cause of the problem. It is time to realise the consequence of bullying and bring an end to such a destructive mentality that has been excused for far too long.
Heal your heartache, heal your pain. We are not born to suffer! We are here to learn our lessons, heal, grow and also to enable other people with the same. The most empowered people are those who have overcome tremendous obstacles and remained true to theirself. Even the most successful people in the world have not got where they are without overcoming personal challenges. Deep feeling people have the capacity to feel for humanity and what started out as a cry for help, has started a movement where people are now communicating their the truth in their heart and sharing their healing experience on the internet. This is inspirational.
Be strong, be bold and share your truth. Healing is your entlement. The healing movement is growing daily and this is because people are finding their voice!
The cycle of bullying and abuse is being brought to an end NOW!!!
Peace, Love and best wishes
Pauline Maria
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